Monday Morning Mumbling
Good morning! I hope you enjoyed the weekend. If not, best of luck for a great week ahead. I like to think that one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. The quote this week is via video:
If you can’t watch the video, here’s the quote:
“Be excellent to each other.”
— Bill and Ted
If you are of a certain generation, this needs no explanation whatsoever. But for you youngsters, or for my parent’s generation, here’s the deal:
Back in the late eighties, there was a movie about two airheaded high school guys named Bill and Ted. They go back in time and gather up famous historical figures for their high school project. It’s one of those movies that was funny if you watched it at the just the right moment in your life; if not, it probably didn’t click for you.
But here’s the context for today: the movie is based on the premise that these two goofs get together and form a band on whose music a future society is based. This society, in the future, is utopian – everyone lives in harmony. And their tagline – their concept – their mantra on which this shangri-la is founded is: Be excellent to each other.
Under the timeline in the movie, that idyllic society should be, well, right now. That is, we should today be living in a society based upon the music of Wyld Stallyns, and dedicated to the proposition of being excellent to one another. We should all be treating one another triumphantly, and enjoying treats from the Circle K.
Well, tragically, we have disappointed Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted Theodore Logan. Our society is based instead on who can say the meanest things about one another, preferably to the largest audience. Celebrities are more popular the meaner they get, elected officials rise higher the nastier they are, and publications that talk badly about others fly off of shelves. It is bogus, and if they could see us today, they would probably ship us all off to Alaska.
Nowhere is this failing more apparent than in the context of community associations. Owners suspect boards and management of theft, dishonesty, and bullying; meanwhile, boards and management accuse owners of deliberate violations and driving up costs. People are heinous to one another.
So it’s time to take a lesson from Bill and Ted: when you deal with someone in a community association context, it is my challenge to you to “be excellent to each other.” Leave your preconceived notions about the other side at the door. Bring your issue to the table and present it civilly, and if possible, at least try to understand the other side’s position (a great way to do this that I learned in law school is to try arguing their side. Take the position they have set forth, and try your best to construct an argument in its favor. Maybe you will gain a bit of understanding and perspective).
Remember that these folks are probably your neighbors, and assume that they have come to their decisions reasonably. View the situation as an opportunity to solve a problem, not to win a fight.
For boards and management – remember that you are making decisions that affect someone’s home. Even if the owner violated your rules, or the covenants, or cost the association some money in resolving the issue. Being excellent to each other involves finding a way to move forward once the issue is addressed, not harping on it like some “royal ugly dudes.”
For owners – keep in mind that boards and management have many responsibilities and obligations. They have to pay bills, and keep up with maintenance, and fund reserves to protect the future health of the association. Your present board or management may even be correcting for the failings of their predecessors. They are trying to keep the association from looking like Oshman Sporting Goods after Genghis Khan ravaged it. And ignoring or flauting their reasonable rules and regulations just to make a point or show how smart you are does not accomplish anything.
In the end, maybe you will still discover that you disagree. Maybe it turns out that the other side in your particular case is not bodacious at all, and you have to take them to task. But if you start with this premise, I suspect you may see a more pleasant response, and things may be easier to resolve. That is, if you remember to “be excellent to one another,” you may end up able to “party on, dudes!”
Have an excellent week everybody.